Life, it sure can throw us a mean curve ball at times. The news, a dear friend's cancer, children who need a miracle, mean-spirited people, pain, suffering all over the world... all these draining the grace right out of us. I must confess, the news lately telling of such hideous crimes left me reeling with questions with no answers... Planned Parenthood with all their atrocities and news from the middle east left me sick to my stomach and losing sleep. Thoughts of my daughters and grandchildren living in a world where such levels of evil exist kept me up at night. I prayed, I asked God, Why? I don't usually allow myself to go there with God. I don't let myself ask, Why... There were two stories in particular which left me speechless and so hurt and literally reeling inside it has taken me days to recover to any sort of normalcy. I am still weeping at the thought and my heart wrenches with pain. After much prayer and seeking the heart of God there came in the still, small voice, these words from Corrie ten Boom which her father had told her before they were captured by the Nazis concerning their most certain death...
"Her father sat down on the edge of the narrow bed and gently began to ask Corrie a question: "When you and I go to Amsterdam--when do I give you your ticket?" She sniffed a few times before responding with "Why, just before we get on the train." Her father then went on, "Exactly. And our wise Father in Heaven knows when we're going to need things, too. Don't run out ahead of Him, Corrie. When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need--just in time."
Faintly, I began to see. Grace comes at the time we need it, no sooner and never late. We are a people of "now"... God is in eternity. Most all of our Christian journey is, in fact, a walk of trust from moment to moment. He doesn't always let us see the outcome of things. He wants us to learn to trust and rely on the grace given for where we are right now.
"The difference God's timelessness makes is that this now (which slips away from you even as you say the word now) is for Him infinite." C.S. Lewis
Trusting Him in the right now... Learning this life lesson is one I am still having to process. I am a global thinker. In other words, my mind is thinking so far ahead most of the time that I forget what today is even about. At times I'm living in the past trying to make sure I've done everything just right and remembering all the times I haven't, and still beating myself up over those past mistakes. You see, God's grace is about right now, right where you are standing. What are you facing right now? He is there with you. The future is His, the past is His, and the right now is His. I tend to forget this... He is teaching me that "His grace is sufficient," for it all, to let go of the future, and the past, and trust Him now. We aren't even promised tomorrow, so let's live today, with the resources we have, right now, and trust in His grace that He has given to us today. I see when I get overwhelmed that I have usually taken on the future with all of its issues and not even focused on the here and now with all the grace I've been given for today. I see that I need to readjust these eyes to see God and life for where I am and trust Him for tomorrow.
Looking back over these forty-nine years, I can see that God Is Faithful. Although there have been many difficulties, I can look over the years and see His hand, always there and always providing. Why do I allow myself doubt or fear of the future? The next time you are feeling overwhelmed, downcast, hopeless, fearful...look to Him and get the grace you need right now and you will find it.
"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments." Deuteronomy 7:9
Grace, right when we need it, no matter what the need or what we are facing.
This is His promise to us and He is a faithful God.
"For the Lord God is the sun and shield unto us: the Lord will give grace and glory, and no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11